Through the Screen

Chapter 97

it's confusion and chaos on a whole different level as noah shifts further onto the bed and lets the

mattress dip under his weight. his entire body is ignited with the gruesome battle between his heart and

brain, between mind and soul, between what's rational and what he actually wants. he is sad and

anxious and afraid and confused and there is a supernova of emotions flooding through him, his eyes

dripping off stars that drench his flushed cheeks, his entire being waiting to explode into nothingness.

he hates himself.

he doesn't know who to blame anymore, even if there is someone to blame. he is selfish and

problematic and he can't handle things properly and he is the worst person at relationships. even after

years of their relationship, he fails to know abel, to give him what he wants, he was the one who

coaxed him into cheating.

he probably wasn't enough. Content bel0ngs to Nôvel(D)r/a/ma.Org.

it has been merely ten minutes since abel left their bedroom, and although noah doesn't want to face

him, doesn't want too see him, doesn't want to be in his presence, he is still worried about him. he

wipes his cheeks and sniffles noisily, pushing his hair back off his forehead and walking into the

bathroom to take out his contacts.

five minutes later he walks out into the living room, only to find his mother asleep on the couch and

adrian curled up on the recliner, his eyes trained on the bright telivision screen. noah smiles at the

scene slightly before walking inside, ruffling adrian's hair and pressing a kiss to his forehead, the

younger boy only looking up at him with a worried expression.

"are you okay?" adrian asks softly and noah just nods, giving him a half hearted smile and covering his

mother with a blanket, removing her glasses cautiously and placing them on the table in front.

when he walks out, he searches the kitchen and the bathroom and the hall and the balcony,

anxiousness surfacing his fingertips already when he doesn't find abel.

"abel?" he calls and flinches slightly at his raspy voice, continuing to search for a certain pair of brown

eyes everywhere but not being able to find them.

"adrian have you seen papa?" noah asks, his fingers messing with his hair nervously, and the younger

boy just furrows his eyebrows and shakes his head.

"why? i though he was with--" noah doesn't let him finish, he just quickly rushes to the door and slips

his feet in his shoes, grabbing his phone and dialling abel 's number frantically, biting his lip in worry

when abel doesn't answer.

"lock the door, and don't open it unless you hear me or papa okay? be safe," noah presses another

quick kiss against adrian's forehead when he emerges from the living room, and the younger boy

doesn't ask anymore questions, nodding his head in understanding and watching as his father hurried

down the steps.

ten minutes later noah is driving insanely down to every place where he thinks abel could be, tears of

frustration dotting the corner of his eyes and his body temperature uncomfortably low even with the

blasting heaters. he hates abel for doing this to him, for making his chest hurt and for making him feel

so worried that he can barely hear anything but his own ragged breathing.

he is so scared, so impossibly scared of losing abel even though a few hours ago he wanted nothing to

do with him. he hates knowing how irrational abel is, how he is impatient and inconsiderate and

downright stupid when he's this hurt, just the possibilities of what abel might do in this state makes

noah want to pull to the side and throw up.

his stomach twists uncomfortably as his fingers dial abel 's number once again, his car zooming past

the bridge where he had hoped abel would be but it was just as silent as it was any other time. the

steady buzz of the unanswered call drips into his brain, mixing with the confusion and fear and creating

a galaxy of chaos that can't be sorted out even if he tries his best.

twenty minutes more and he is crying, fingers shaking on the steering wheel as he tries to focus on the

road through his blurred vision, the bright christmas lights that drape like vines across england seem to

be mocking him in the worst way possible, his skin glowing a pale shade of gold and all the misery on

his face reflected in tear drops that glisten his flushed cheeks.

"please," noah whimpers pathetically, trying to reach abel again, his heart literally beating to a stuttering

stop once he finally answers, noah's feet hitting the brakes almost instantly as he holds his breath.

please be abel, please be abel,please be dan

"noah?" and this is when noah completely breaks down, sobbing unabashedly into the receiver as his

palm flattens against the steering wheel, his other hand gripping onto his phone tightly as he tries to

catch his breath.

"noah are you okay? noah?"

"fuck you! i fucking hate you! how dare you, i was--fuck this!" noah doesn't know whether he's angry or

relieved, small stars of mixed emotions spewing out of his mouth, slowly shrinking the galaxy in his

mind.

"are you okay?" abel mumbles softly through the line, and noah runs his hand through his hair, the

small tangles gripping at his fingers slightly.

"no, i'm not fucking okay, what makes you think you can just leave like that? leave--leave me, i can't i

was so scared that i--" noah can barely speak through the lump in his throat, he just wants to see abel,

to know that he's okay, to know that he's not leaving.

"i'm sorry, i shouldn't have done that," abel keeps his voice low and cautious, as if he knows that a

single word could break noah completely, and noah just whimpers in response. "where are you?"

"where are you?" noah asks instead, biting his lip and sniffing pathetically. "are you okay? are you hurt?

did you--"

"i'm okay, i'm fine don't worry about me, tell me where you are, calm down,"

"i-i was so scared i thought you, i thought you," noah chokes, resting his forehead against the steering

as he presses the phone closer to his ear.

"no, don't be scared, i'll be here when you come back, i'll always be here,"