The Search for Freedom

Kaila

I was holding my chin on the windowpane, looking at the sky filled with low-flying snow clouds, though there was a break through which the sun shone. Some trick of prismlike crystal, some sun-and-moisture phenomenon, gave the falling snowflakes color, and as they materialized in the sunlight, twinkling downward, they seemed to vanish.

I might have had a very long dream about the old woman who offered me a pinkish cloud. I didn't know what to believe. Perhaps everything was only a dream, because when I woke up, I was lying on my bed. Perhaps everything was only a dream and I fell asleep when I was having a conversation with my personal maid.

I was feeling bored of sitting on the chair by the window. Just a while ago, when I woke up, I decided to open them so that the darkness would disappear. I realized that everything around me was not doing anything wrong to me, and it would be better if my bedroom wasn't dark, because darkness seemed to swallow me.

Picture-perfect memories weren't just scattered on the floor, but also around my room. The spots where I had good memories with the two people I loved were still capturing my attention. I also realized why some people didn't want to be close to others; if they passed away, it would be hard to forget them.

I promised myself I would never be close to anyone again, because they would only cause me pain. They could witness the strong and brave Kaila, who would never let anyone hurt her. She'd never trust unworthy people, and those criminals would pay for the sins they had committed!

The arms of my wrist watch were pointing at eight o'clock in the morning. I stood up and went towards the closet to choose a shirt to wear. I needed to take a bath, because I could smell my stinky self. After a few minutes, I took the winding stairs and listened to my own footsteps.

Some servants in the mansion had already left. I knew they were thinking that I could no longer manage everything. The mansion wouldn't be a grand house again because many people were working for us, such as domestic servants, an army of cooks, parlour maids, footmen, hall boys, gardeners, butlers, and coachmen.

I didn't know how many people were working in the mansion. I got inside the kitchen and saw some cooks who were cooking food for our breakfast. It was good to see that not all of them had left. I would become a skeleton if there was no one who could cook food for me.

"Good morning, Miss Kaila," they said.

I didn't know why they lowered their heads, maybe showing respect, though they didn't really need to, because they were free to go, but they only went back to their work.

"What do you want to eat, Miss Kaila?" Chef asked.

I replied, "You're working here for many years; you already know what foods I want to eat." I then walked towards the refrigerator.

I am a bit choosy when it comes to foods. I didn't want to eat foods that lacked ingredients; I didn't want to eat spicy foods, insipid foods, bitter foods, sour foods, sweet foods, creamy foods, etcetera. I didn't want anything because I wasn't eating.

The cold water flowed down my esophagus. I put the glass on the table and went outside the kitchen. I got inside the bathroom and prepared the bathtub. I didn't want to take a cold bath, but a warm one. It was so cold outside that I would be frozen if I couldn't feel even a little warm.

After I took a bath, I changed my clothes and went to the living room. I realized that I couldn't take revenge on those criminals if I sat down there and waited. I couldn't go to school anymore, because I needed to manage a lot of things in the mansion. I would like to spend my time searching for those wicked gangsters who killed my parents rather than listening to my teacher's boring discussion.

I remembered the old woman in my dream. She told me that she knew those killers, but she didn't tell me anything about them. Perhaps she, too, was absolutely a dream and everything wasn't real. I should forget that ugly woman because she couldn't help me with my problems.

The tall and antiquated mirror attracted my attention. It was older than me, than my parents, and maybe older than my grandparents. Mom told me that she had inherited that from her great grandparents. She was always telling everyone in the mansion to be careful in their moves so that they couldn't break the mirror.

I took my hairbrush from the table and I combed my straight, long, silvery pink hair. I didn't know why I had different hair from my parents. My mom had straight golden-brown hair, while my dad had curly gray hair. I didn't know if I had grandparents because they didn't tell me anything about them ever since my world began.

While looking at the mirror, I saw Amara going towards me. She was wearing a blue shirt, jeans, and pink sneakers. Her hands were inside the pockets of her jeans, as if she had a lot of money to burn, but the truth was, her pockets only contained a hole. I hadn't given their salaries yet, because I knew they would leave their jobs if I couldn't give them their wages.

"Let me comb your hair." Amara took the hairbrush from my hand, then she softly combed my hair like my mom would do.

"Sister Amara, can I ask you something?" I looked at the mirror.

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"Yes. Of course. You don't need to ask permission before asking me a question, because you're my beautiful princess," Amara replied. "Tell me what's that?"

"Do you know who came into my room last night?" I inquired.

"Sorry Kaila, but I don't know. What I only remember was that I was waiting for you here on the couch and, because I felt drowsy, I fell asleep. Maybe the parlour maids or the guards?"

"Maybe. But they wouldn't touch me as long as I didn't tell them."

"Oh, that's mysterious!" Amara became confused. "But I assure you that I did not bring you inside your room."

"Let's not think too much about it. We should get inside the dining room, because I'm hungry." I stood up and walked towards the door.

"You're right, what's important is that you're here safe and sound."

If nobody brought me inside my room, maybe it was also possible that the old woman wasn't just a dream. She looked weird, and she might be powerful too. What I only remembered was that there was a pinkish cloud that came out of her mouth. It floated towards me, entered my nose, mouth, and ears, and I didn't know what happened next.Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.