Chapter 89: Darkest Days
Chapter 89: Darkest Days
IAN’s POV :
Reality sank in when I woke up in the morning.
My memories came in flashes.
I was in the gallery.I was drinking a bit.I met Ally in the back office.We drank some more.
I got out of the gallery, Ally was sending me home.She kissed me.
I kissed her back.
And then I saw Emma.
She saw us too.
She ran away and I instinctively ran after her.
I was still mad at her.
My mouth had no filter.
I said some things I shouldn't have said.
I didn’t even apologize for what happened outside the gallery.
I was hit with another episode, I almost struck my hand at her.
But thank God, I didn't.
That was probably the only good thing that happened last night.
And then she left me.
I wanted to go after her, but I didn’t.
I slumped against the wall and sat under the rain for what felt like hours.
My mind and my body had betrayed me.
I might as well lay there like the trash that I was.
Ally came looking for me.
She lifted me up and hailed a cab.
She brought me to the hospital. This content © Nôv/elDr(a)m/a.Org.
I was out for about three days.
When I woke up this morning, I asked the nurse what day it was and she said it was Tuesday.
As the nurse checked on my vitals, I lay on the hospital bed and replayed all the events that transpired on Saturday night.
I cringed at all the words I never meant to say to Emma, but I said it anyway.
She must really hate me right now.
"How are you feeling, Mr.Hayes?" the nurse asked.
She was an older lady, probably in her forties.
"Meh,"I shrugged.
"I've been better,"
"You'll feel better after some rest," she paused for a moment before continuing, "Your girlfriend is waiting outside to see you, would you like to see her?"
"My girlfriend?" my eyes shot up instantly.
"Yeah, she’s been waiting for you to wake up," Emma’s here? She's waiting for me?
"I wanna see her, please,"I said to the nurse.
"Alright, I'll go get her,"she nodded to me.
I watched the nurse exited the room and my eyes were glued to the door.
I knew I had a lot of explaining and apologizing to do.
I said the worst things to her, she had every right to be mad at me.
But instead, here she was, waiting in the hospital for me.
I waited in heavy anticipation and a familiar looking girl stepped into the room.
I squinted my eyes to get a better look.It wasn't Emma.
"Hey, you're up?"
Ally smiled.
"Ally?"
She strode over to the bed and took my hand in hers, saying, "I was so worried.The doctor said you were severely dehydrated,"
"How? I was drinking the entire time,"I stifled a laugh.
"lan,"she scolded.
"Kidding,"
"Are you feeling better now?"
"I don’t know,"I sighed.
My eyes darted to the doorway again, but there was no one in sight.
"Hey, have you seen Emma around?"
"No, not since that night," she shook her head.
Her fingers ran circles around my hand.
It was soothing and nice, but I felt awkward.
Pulling my hand away slightly, I said, "Hey, Al.About that night...and the kiss..."
"Yeah?"she looked up at me.
"It didn't mean anything.I was so drunk and angry,"I explained.
"Oh.Right..."her shoulders fell as if she was disappointed.
"I'm sorry,"
"No, yeah, no.I’m sorry too,"she said quickly.
"I didn’t know why I did that.Probably just a heat of the moment thing,"
"I love you too, Ally.As a friend.You're one of my best and oldest friends," I said meaningfully.
She had been a rock for me throughout these years.
That night was a total mistake.
I never wanted to ruin our friendship.
"Yeah, I know.That's what I meant too," she forced out a smile.
The room got quiet for a while.Ally shuffled awkwardly, not sure of what to do.
"Do you know when they'll let me outta here?" I said finally.
"I can ask the doctor," she replied.
"Would you mind?"
She shook her head and said, "I'll be right back,"Ally exited the room and I let out a deep sigh I didn't know I was holding.
My body felt weak and my brain was only half working, but I had to get out of here and fix the shit I’ve caused.
I didn’t know how, but I had to try. I have to go find her.
I had to wait another three days before the hospital finally discharged me.
What a load of crap that was.
And even after I was discharged, I was too weak to even drive a car on my own.
Ally had to drive me back and helped me around the house.
With her help, I managed to get ahold of a new phone, though.
I tried calling Emma, but the call never went through.
I was wondering how that could be, because even if she was blocking me, she couldn't possibly know this number.
Finally, after another three days of bed rest, I felt strong enough to walk and do things on my own.
I got in a car and made the drive to her apartment in Philly.
Throughout the two hour drive, I was rehearsing the speech that I would give her.
I’d hold her in my arms and tell her about how sorry I am and how much of a jackass I’ve been.
I'd tell her that I'd forgive her for cheating on me if she was done with it.
And I'd do whatever it takes for her to give me a second chance.
She might ask me to let her go, but I won't.
Not this time.Not ever.
I arrived in front of her apartment building a little after 10 AM.
I noticed that the campus area was not as crowded since it was finals week.
A lot of them were probably cooped up inside, studying, and taking exams.
Walking up to her apartment door, I was praying to god that my timing wasn’t off.
Emma was probably stressed out enough by finals, hopefully me showing up at her door wouldn't add to the stress.
I knocked on the door and waited patiently.
I rehearsed the same words again and again in my head, ‘I’m sorry, please forgive me’.
The door opened suddenly and Tristan was standing there.
My fists curled instinctively, but I held it together.
I didn’t come here for a fight.
"What do you want?"he scowled.
"Where’s Emma?"
"She's not here,"
"Where is she?"
"Why should I tell you?"
This kid was getting on my last nerve.
I tried to be nice, but he had the audacity to be a smartass with me.
I gritted my teeth and my fist connected to the wall by the door, making a loud thumping noise.
"I swear to fucking god, if you don't tell me where she is..."
"Tristan? Who's at the door?"
I heard a girl's voice coming towards us.It was Sophie, Emma's other roommate.
She looked shocked to see me, gasping, "Oh, it’s you,"
"Where the hell is she?"
I directed the question to Sophie since Tristan wasn't accommodating.
"Wait here,"
Sophie said and she turned to the living room.
She grabbed a white envelope from the coffee table and brought it over to me, saying "Emma left this for you,"
I eyed the enveloped suspiciously, but I took it from her anyway.
On the inside were the engagement ring and the charm bracelet I had gotten her.
There was also a folded up paper.
I took it out and unfolded it, revealing her handwriting.
lan, After all that we’ve been through, I thought at least you deserve a proper good bye, even though you never gave me one.
So here it is.
For what it's worth, you'll always have a special place in my heart.You are the best and the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.And though it had to end this way, I have no regrets.
I hope the same for you too.
Good bye.
I scrunched the piece of paper in my hand and my fist connected to the wall again, causing Sophie to jump in shock.
"Tell me where is! Now!" I growled.
"Don’t say anything,"Tristan told her.
"He deserves to know,"Sophie clapped back.
"Know what?"I pressed.
"She moved out.She moved right after we finished our finals,"Sophie answered.
"Moved where?"
"Paris,"
"What?"
"Stop talking, Soph,"
Tristan ordered, but his sister kept going.
"She got in the program and she left early.
Actually, she just left for the airport this morning,"
It took me a split second to register everything I just heard.
Emma was leaving for Paris.
She just left this morning.
I was about to turn around and head outside, when I felt a hand on my shoulder, stopping me.
"Don't go after her,"
I turned my face to the side and saw Tristan’s hand on me.
"Tristan, what are you doing?"
Sophie asked.
"Get your fucking hand off me,"
I warned.
"She’s way better off without you.You don't deserve her, not after how you hurt her,"
"I swear to god, don't flick with me.I know what you two did.She was cheating on me with you,"
"What?"Tristan gaped.
"I saw you two at the quad,"
"Quad? Oh...that,"
There was no look of remorse on his face.
If I wasn't in such a rush right now, I would gladly take the time to break his stupid jaw.
"Tristan, what is he talking about?"
Sophie asked.
"Nothing, we never did anything.
Emma was just pretending to kiss me because Monique was there,"
"Oh,"she mouthed knowingly.
"What?"I questioned.
"It's a stupid thing.Emma was helping Tristan to make this girl jealous,"Sophie said tome.
"What?"I repeated myself.
"Nothing happened you dumb fiick!"Tristan glared.
"Emma and I aren't like that.I mean, sure, I have a crush on her.But who doesn’t? She never looked at me as more than a friend.She never did anything more than be a great friend to me,"
Wait, what? It was all just a pretend thing? They never actually got together? Emma never cheated on me?
"I know my place, I don't deserve her either.I'm just the creep that watches her from the far.But at least I know enough to keep my distance and not hurt her the way you did," Tristan continued.
She never cheated on me and I kissed another girl right in front of her face.
And then I said the most hurtful things to her.
And I made her leave.
"If you really love her, you need to let her go.She’s leaving because she wants to be away from you.You're only holding her back,"
I glared at Tristan as he said those words.This dumb motherfucker didn’t know shit about me and my love for her.I would never hold her back.
I would always be her number one supporter.
He just happened to catch me at a really bad time.
Actually, the timing for all this shit couldn't be worse.
"Yeah? That's too bad.
‘Cause I don't give a shit,"
I spat at the kid and shoved his hand away.
Not wasting any more time, I dashed out of there as fast as I could.
My weak body was betraying me, but I didn’t stop.
With everything I had left in me, I raced to my car and sped away.
Tristan didn’t know our story.
I was that guy before, I let Emma go because I thought she deserves better.
I thought that was love, but it wasn’t.
It was insecurity and pride.
Love is kind, love is patient.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
Sure, my love for her wasn’t perfect.
But that’s the thing about being human.
We weren't meant to love perfectly, just whole-heartedly.
As soon as I pulled up in front of the airport, I got out and left the car running outside, breaking whatever rules they had.
This was nothing compared to the kind of rules we broke when we were dating the first time.
Racing through the crowded airport, I scanned frantically for signs of her.
Looking at the huge screen, I noted that the next flight to Paris was boarding through gate 4.
I raced over to the gate, pushing past the sea of people.
"Sir, sir, we need your ticket and ID,"the airport lady security stopped me.
"I have to go see her.I have to talk to her,"I pleaded.
"She's leaving on that plane to Paris,"
"Sir,"
"Please,"
"Sir!"she raised her voice and stated firmly, "The plane to Paris had departed,"
"What?"
She gestured to the board above her head and I looked at the board again.
Next to Paris, it was written in big bold yellow letters: Departed.
I was too late.She was gone.