She Accepted Divorce, He Panicked

136 Lie To Me

Sebastian's POV

I was pleasantly surprised that Scar would initiate a talk, only to realize - Scar wants something from me.

She is a free spirit, the opposite of Ava. She says what she thinks, and she does what her heart tells her to. Always. But not when she wants something. She turns into a different person, a tame girl who tries her best to behave, to flatter, to restrain. I used to scorn at that. I felt like she was always asking for something when Ava never asked for things. On top of that, she does it in a timid, almost scared way and I didn't like it.

Scar would ask all my friends but me about what I might like to get me "the right" gift, and ask me if I liked the gift when she gave it to me. If I said "yes", she would smile so brightly with a timid question" Then do I get a full day with you? Just us?"

I didn't like Scar's "hidden conditions" for the gifts, so I hated it when she gave me gifts. I felt like there were always traps behind it. I never thought about how hard it was for her to get anything she wanted. I never understood her timidness behind those questions. If it were Ava, she would just say "Next Sunday I want to go to the beach, you are coming, right?"

I was so blind.

I didn't see how I indulged Ava to have that kind of confidence, when I hated Scar for being afraid of rejections because I have given her too many of them. Scar's "wishes" were simple demands that I should have provided as her husband even without her asking! She only asked because I failed her in the first place, and she was timid about it, only because she didn't think she could get them.

And I proved her right, over and over again.

I would give my everything if she could make a requirement of me again. But I know she wouldn't take that kind of risk with me again. Not out of fear this time. She just doesn't care to.

Now she would rather put on a fake mask, and try awkwardly to steal, to trick, to lie, than to just ask me for it.

She pushes her drink to me. Realizing she wanted me drunk for her plan, I could barely maintain my smile.

This is the woman who used to tell me to not drink unless necessary because alcohol gives me stomachaches. This is the woman who used to stay up with me in a bar when I wanted to drink my struggle away, and then give me the pill to ease my headache. Not that I would reject her now, but her doing it in a really cute way doesn't hurt either.

Am I crazy, or is everything she does actually cute? From the moment I started seeing her in this different light, I could not go back. It was like I was put under a spell for so many years, or else why couldn't I appreciate the wife that I did not deserve to claim?

If she wants to get me drunk, then I will indulge her. Even if her smile is nothing but a poisonous lie, I have to swallow. I fear if I ask her straight up, I wouldn't even get a small talk with her.

But it doesn't mean it's not hurting. To see her tricking me, I mean. 112

136 Lie To Me

She has never lied to me before. Not once. She hated lies, and she insisted that honesty is the solid base for a marriage.

I lied to her once, about going out to accompany Ava. I don't even remember what that was for, but wanting to avoid getting Scar jealous and therefore entering a fight, I lied about where I went. That was the biggest fight we had in years. Scar was not happy when I spent time with Ava, but she would try to understand, and she would back up as far as she could about it. But she didn't tolerate that one white lie even though nothing happened between me and Ava.

I never lied to her again even if bringing up Ava got us into fights sometimes.

I have never admitted to her, but I preferred how she handled my lie - no lie at home - the best rule I knew, period. It became one of the million things that made life with Scar easy. Her honesty made our home a safe place, a place where I didn't have to keep my guard up, a place where I could relax, knowing that the person next to me was trustworthy.

But now, she could lie to me.

aNôvelDrama.Org holds © this.