103
Tommy
“What the fuck is that broad thinking?” Anthony walks up behind me at the bar, and I have to turn around to face him.
He looks worried. “What are you talking about?” I ask.
“Your chick, Tonya Kelly. The cop.” He says, “the cop” like I wouldn’t know who he’s talking about. My eyes lower to the drink in my hand. I haven’t had one fucking moment go by where I didn’t think about her. From the way she felt writhing beneath me, to the pissed off and hurt look when I shut it down before the situation got any worse than was necessary.
I fucking hate this. I hate that I can’t get her out of my head, and I hate that I can’t have her. I’ve never had this problem before. And I don’t fucking like it.
“What’s she doing?” I ask, looking past him at Vince. Vince is in the corner of the room talking to his brother over a beer. They barely come in here anymore with the kids taking up so much of their time. I hope whatever my bad girl has gotten into, it hasn’t found its way back to either of them.
“She’s about to get slapped with a harassment lawsuit if she keeps her shit up.” I look him dead in the eyes, waiting for more. “She went to Tony’s and waited for him outside his house. She keeps pushing for information.” He looks over his shoulder at Vince. “She’s worse than a fucking reporter.”
He turns like he’s gonna go tell Vince, and I stop him. My hand grips his shoulder. His forehead pinches, and his eyes narrow. “What the fuck, Tommy?”
“Don’t tell him, and tell Tony to keep his mouth shut.” He looks at me with disbelief. “I’ll handle it,” I say, standing up from my barstool.Content © provided by NôvelDrama.Org.
“Are you fucking kidding me? You can’t go around making threats to an officer. You aren’t off the hook yet.”
“That’s not what I have in mind,” I say under my breath.
Anthony closes his eyes and lets his head fall back. “You’re fucking kidding me, Tommy. Tell me you’re not fucking around with her.”
“I’m not.” I’ve never been good at lying, and I sure as shit don’t like lying to him. But it’s partially true.
“Good. That’d be a fucking mistake.”
“Stay out of it, Anthony.” I’m done with this conversation. I turn to walk away and he doesn’t stop me. I feel like a prick, but I’m going after what I want.
Before I make it to the door, Vince and Dom approach me, and I know I need to stop and hear them out. I just hope it’s not about her. She really should know better; she shouldn’t be doing this shit. She’s gonna get herself into deep shit, and I can’t fucking have that happen.
“Tommy, you alright?” Dom asks. I’m sure they can see the stress on my face. I need to man the fuck up and play it cool.
“Everything considered, I’m doing just fine.” I talk easy, but the tension in my body is keeping my guard up.
“You know we got you. It’s all gonna be taken care of. Soon, too. We already got the witness stuff thrown out, the prints and the tire tracks are close to being gone too, and then they won’t have shit on you.”
I nod my head, not really listening. I’m sure I’m gonna get off, so I’m not too worried about that. But my bad girl is gonna get herself into some deep shit, and I need to stop that. I don’t want them thinking of her like they do Harrison.
“Has that bitch cop been bugging you?” Vince asks, and it takes everything in me not to make a fist and smash it into his face.
“She’s not a bitch,” I manage to say back, and he doesn’t like that answer. Dom seems surprised and takes a step back. He doesn’t get involved with this shit. I can’t help that the words come out. I don’t like him calling her a bitch. She may be a little rough around the edges. She’s a little pushy, but she’s not a bitch. Nothing about her makes me think that.
“She’s still a cop though, isn’t she?” Vince asks in a hushed voice.
“Yeah she is.” I answer him quickly, wanting to get rid of the tense air between us.
“She still bugging you?”
I answer him honestly. “I haven’t seen her in a few days.”
“Haven’t seen her?” he asks, tilting his head and narrowing his eyes. “What’s that mean, Tommy?”
“Means she hasn’t been around to bug me. She’s not like the others, Vince.”
“I don’t like the way you’re talking Tommy.” Vince wraps his arms around my shoulder and leads me to the back room. “You talking like that to anyone else?”
“I haven’t said shit to anyone about anything.” That’s always the correct answer to give.
“You sound like you’ve got something going on with her, Tommy. You talking to a cop?”
“Fuck no, Vince.” My body goes ice cold. I can’t have anyone think I’m talking to a cop. That gets your ass killed.
“If you were anyone other than my cousin, I’d be thinking twice about believing the shit coming out of your mouth right now.”
“She’s a woman, is all,” I answer back.
“She’s a cop, Tommy. You can’t forget that shit. You can’t go easy on her just because she’s got tits. She’ll still use anything you say against you. Isn’t that one of their fucking lines?”
I press my lips into a tight line and nod diligently.
“Don’t fucking talk like that around anyone else. I can’t have anyone thinking you’ve got a thing going on with the cops. They can’t start spreading shit about you talking, Tommy. There’s only so much I can do to squash shit like that.”
He sounds desperate for me to listen to him. And I am, but only partially.
Even as he’s warning me away from her, I already know I’m going to lie to him. I already know I’m not going to listen. I think I’ve just been waiting for a reason to go to her, and she just gave me one.
Tonya
I shut the door, dropping my keys in the glass bowl on the end table, and drag my ass over to sink down on the couch. It’s been a long fucking day. I wince as I scrape the wound on my arm against the rough fabric of the sofa. I suck in a deep breath through clenched teeth. Fucking asshole made me chase him through the woods, all for what? A couple hundred bucks he stole from his parents? Seriously? It fucking pisses me off. I’m so fucking tired of dealing with junkies and this stupid shit. What’s worse is I know he’ll be out soon. Only to get hauled back in later. I lean my head back against the couch.
I put my hands on my forehead, and try to let the stress leave me. This isn’t what I thought being a cop would be like. I shake my head and forget that shit. I knew this was going to be hard. It’s not what’s eating me. I know exactly why I’m all fucked up. It’s because I have no leads to the only case I really care about.
My heart twists in my chest. I don’t want to think about him. I’ve been trying to avoid it, but he keeps haunting me. I don’t know what hurts worse, the fact that he could end this pain for me, or the fact that he’s gotten to me. I haven’t been with anyone in so long. I don’t remember it feeling like this. But then again, I’ve never been dumped like that either.
I snort, and force my tired body off the sofa. Like we were seeing each other. As if I mattered to him.
My gut drops, and I find myself regretting it. But I can’t stand that. I don’t like regret. I do what feels right, and I don’t do what feels wrong. It’s my own insurance policy so that I never regret anything.
At any point in my past, I know whatever I was doing was exactly what I wanted. At least right then and there. And I’d be a fucking liar if I said I didn’t love every minute of Tommy fucking me. I came alive under him. I smile, remembering how loud his bed was. I shake my head and open my fridge looking for a snack or something.
It sucked though, when it was over. I look at the half gallon of milk and the rest of my practically-empty fridge and frown. I close the door and try to shake off this shit feeling. I don’t hold it against him. It never should’ve happened. But it still fucking hurt.
I’m not going to let him stop me from getting to the bottom of Petrov’s case though. I’m sure as fuck going to avoid him like the plague though. I need to get him out of my head. If anyone at the station found out what happened between us, I’d be fucked.
I feel like a bitch for judging all of them and how hard they are after years of doing this shit. No wonder they look at me like I don’t belong. Fuck! I lean my head against the fridge and breathe in and out slowly. I can’t shake this negativity. I can’t get out of my own fucking head. I’m second-guessing everything, and feeling like shit as a result. I need to stop. But I don’t know how.
I slowly open my eyes as I hear a loud knock at my door.
My heart stills in my chest. I have no clue who would come over here this late at night. I wait with anxiety trickling through my limbs for a voice. But I don’t hear anything. I walk silently, but quickly to the end table and pick up my gun where I left it. I hold it down and walk steadily as I hear a loud knock again.
Bang. Bang. Bang! On the third, I hear his voice say, “Open up, Tonya.” Relief washes through my body and I almost put the gun down, but then I think twice.
I look at it in my hands and remember how angry the other members of the Valetti familia were. In two days, I’ve managed to piss off more men than my mom has in her entire life. That’s saying something.
“I know you’re in there, you may be a bad girl, but I don’t want you pushing me right now.” His voice doesn’t come out hard, but it’s not playful either. It’s almost a little worried. Like he’s fairly confident that I’ll answer him, but scared that I won’t.
I like that.
I like making him wait. Not because I don’t want to answer him, I do. The wild side of me is jumping at the chance to answer him. But I also like keeping him on edge.
I put the gun down on the end table. It may be stupid, but I don’t care right now. I walk to the door and unlock it. I wait a second to see if he’ll open it. But he doesn’t. He respects that boundary. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I can’t let myself go back to how it was before. This is going to be professional.
I open the door and curse myself as my eyes land on his hard, muscular body. Fuck, I want him. I want all of him. I close my eyes and don’t open them as he speaks.
“What are you doing snooping around?” He gets right to the point, and anger rises within me. Enough so that I can stare back at him.
“Snooping around?” I’m not snooping. I’m simply trying to get answers.
“You need to knock it off.” His voice is stern and admonishing. It pisses me off, but also lights something else in me. Something I need to let die.
“I don’t need to do anything, and as far as you’re concerned, you weren’t giving me what I needed, so I had to go somewhere else.” I know the double meaning there. And I hate that it slipped out. I feel fucking pathetic.
His eyebrows raise, and he looks me up and down like he’s sizing me up, but I can see he’s angry. “Is that so?” he says with a neutral tone.
I start backpedaling the best I can and say, “I need answers for my own sanity.”
“You’re a cop, you think they’re going to give you anything?” He raises his voice as he continues to lay into me, “They’re not like me, Tonya. They aren’t going to treat you like I do.”
“So they aren’t going to fuck me and then toss me aside?” I’m so fucking bitter I can’t help but spit it out. I don’t feel any anger toward him, but apparently some part of me does.
“Is that what you want from them?” he asks.
“Fuck off, Thomas.” I start to close the door. I don’t have the energy for this. If he’s not going to help me, fine. If he doesn’t want to fuck me anymore, that’s fine, too.
Thomas stops the door and pushes it open so he can lean in. “What the fuck? You trying to piss me off, Officer Kelly?” I don’t like the way he’s saying my name. Like he’s asking if he’s talking to me or someone else, someone who he doesn’t trust. I’ve never been anything but honest with him.
“What do you want?” I ask with irritation coloring my voice, but I’m not irritated. I’m hurt. I want him to say, “You.” I want him to come in and take me. I want him to make everything better. And that realization makes me feel weak. It makes me feel sick to my stomach.
“I wanna come in and talk.”
“Now you wanna talk?” I shake my head and try to push down the bit of hope growing in my chest. It’s stupid. I shouldn’t be hoping. This can’t happen.
“You gonna let me in?” he asks, like I might actually say yes.
“No.” I shake my head and open my eyes, making sure to only look at his face. The thought of him coming in here only makes me want to test whether or not he can make my bed creak and groan like he did his. This is bad. Real fucking bad.
“Why the fuck not?” He sounds all pissed off.
“‘Cause I don’t have to, that’s why.” I’m flippant as I say it.
“Don’t push me, baby.” He narrows his eyes at me as he says it.
“I’m not your baby. I’m not your anything.” I at least have a little pride knowing that those words came out strong.
“With a mouth like that, right now you’re my bad girl. That’s all you are.” My pussy clenches at his words. I can’t help that it turns me on. But I have to remember that this can’t happen. This is wrong.
“Bad things will happen if you come in here.” I tell him the truth and regret it when his eyes heat with lust and his lips pull into a smirk.
“You want me that much? You really can’t control yourself?” he asks with a cocky grin.
It pisses me off. And I hold on to that anger so I can push him away like I know I should.
“Fuck you!” I grab the edge of the door and try to slam it shut, but his boot hits the door, blocking it.
For the first time ever in his presence, I feel scared. I don’t know why, but a sense of danger takes ahold of every part of me, and I race to get to my gun. I grip it with both hands and point it at him as he takes a step inside.
His eyes go wide when he sees the gun pointed at him. He raises both of his hands, “Whoa, baby, what are you doing? Put the gun down.”
My hands tremble slightly, and I feel so fucking insecure. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I don’t trust anything that I’m feeling. My hand starts shaking. It’s never done that. I’ve always had control. But I’ve never been in this situation before, either. I don’t even know why I grabbed it.
“Hey, it’s alright.” He keeps his hands raised. “You really want me to go? I’ll go.”
I don’t know what I want. I slowly aim the gun down and keep my head down. I’ve fucked this up so fucking bad.
“I know I push you. I didn’t mean to threaten you though.” I watch in my periphery as he walks toward me like one would a wounded animal. And that’s exactly how I feel. I’m so fucked up. So worn out and torn.
“I’d never hurt you, Tonya.” I shouldn’t believe him, but I do. He reaches out slowly and grabs my gun. I think about resisting, but I don’t want to. He gently places it on the end table and looks at me like he doesn’t know what to do with me.
He takes his gun out, making sure to point it away from me and quickly sets it on the end table next to mine.
He cups my chin in my hand. “I’m sorry I pushed you like that. I really thought you were just pushing me back.”
“I don’t know what I’m doing,” I say weakly, and look up at him through my thick lashes.
A soft chuckle rumbles through his chest. “I don’t either, baby.” He lowers his lips to mine. He whispers with his full lips barely touching my own, “I won’t hurt you. And I won’t let anyone else hurt you, either.”
I open my eyes and see sincerity in his dark stare.
“You gotta stay away, though.” My gaze drops to the floor. I try to push him away, but it’s a weak and useless effort.
“Not from me.” His words pull me back from the defeated place I’d sunk to. “I want you. But they can’t know. No one can know, and you need to stay away from them.”
His chest rises and falls, and his breathing is the only thing I can hear other than my own heart thumping in my chest.
This is dangerous. It’s forbidden. But I want it. I want him.
“Tell me you want me, baby.” His voice is confident, but I can tell he needs the reassurance. He needs me to tell him I want him, too. And I do. I desperately want him.
“I want you.” Before the last word leaves my lips, his hands grip my hips and he pulls me under him as he falls onto the sofa.
His fingers tickle my skin as they travel under my shirt, slowly lifting it up past my breasts.
“I’ll make you feel better, baby.”
“Yes,” I whisper. Please. I need to feel better.
“You’re just too tempting. I fucking need you under me.” He stares at my breasts as he pulls the cup of my bra down and pinches my hardened nubs. It sends a direct shot of need to my clit.
A soft smile plays at his lips, but he looks into my eyes with concern.
“You really thought I’d hurt you?” He pulls my shirt over my head, taking the bra with it and lifts me into his lap. His arms wrap around my waist as he leans back against the sofa.
I feel ashamed, so I try to look away, but he cups my face and turns my head so I have to look at him. “Don’t do that.”
“I’m sorry,” I say barely above a murmur. I am. I’m so damn sorry.
He smirks a bit and says playfully, “I had it coming, messing with a bad girl like you.”
He takes my lips with his, and I feel every emotion crash down around me. The only one left standing is lust. I moan into his parted lips and let his hands roam my body. I need him to take me away. I need to feel something else.
He tosses me backward and climbs between my legs, ripping off everything in his way. I want to close my legs, but I don’t. The look of hunger in his eyes keeps my legs spread wide for him. He licks his lips and gently runs a finger down my hip bone and over my clit. My body shudders under his touch, and his lips twitch into a satisfied smile as he lowers his lips to my pussy.
His deft fingers pump in and out of me while he sucks my clit. My eyes roll back in my head as my back bows and I struggle with my composure. It’s so intense. Too intense. My body begs me to move away, not knowing if I’ll be able to stand the power of the orgasm he’s forcing out of me. My fingers dig into the couch and scratch along his back.
He pulls away as my thighs loosen, and the sight of him is nearly enough that I cum just from looking at him. His chiseled frame is all ripped muscle, with his left arm covered in intricate tattoos. His eyes are intense with his own need, and his breath comes in pants. He stares at my pussy in awe as he curls his fingers and mercilessly rubs my G-spot. His thumb presses down on my clit and I find my body trying to turn away. It’s too much. I can’t stand the overwhelming sensation.
“Don’t you move,” he says while withdrawing his fingers. My eyes pop open and my breath finally comes back to me.
“I didn’t mean to.” I’m so ready. I want him so fucking bad. I was so close. So fucking close.
He smirks at me and backhands my clit. My back arches, but my pussy clamps down on nothing. I need it. I’m so close.
“Bad girl,” he says with a smirk. If he wasn’t so fucking hot, and I wasn’t so delirious with my own needs, I’d tell him off. Instead I bite my lip and wait with bated breath for him to take me over the edge. “Hold still.” He lowers his head and relief flows through me, but it’s immediately replaced with the tingling sensation of every inch of my skin being lit aflame.
He laps at my pussy, and gently places his thumb against my ass. My mouth opens as the foreign sensation of him pushing against me adds to the intensity of his tongue massaging my clit. My eyes close, and my lips part. My breathing comes in ragged pants as he starts fucking my ass and sucking my clit at the same time. It’s too much. So fucking overwhelming.
In an instant, my body goes numb and then immediately explodes with paralyzing pleasure.
My thighs clench around his head as I cry out in complete ecstasy. Every nerve ending heats in waves, starting at my toes and working their way up. Each wave of pleasure is higher and more intense than the previous. My body is twisted and still stiff, unwilling to move. I try to relax as I come down from the high. I try, but my body doesn’t respond. I can only feel.
After a few minutes of lying limp on the sofa, I come to my senses. My body is covered in sweat, and my legs are still trembling. I try to speak and realize my throat is sore and dry.
I look down my body and watch as Thomas stands up and shoves his jeans down his muscular thighs. He grabs his thick cock in his hands and strokes it once. The head glistens with a taste of his cum. He embodies power and lust. And the sight of him is intoxicating.
“I want you on the bed next.” With the heated look in his eyes and my arousal glistening on his lips, I can’t deny him. I can’t deny what I want either. I love the way he makes me feel. In this moment I’d let him have me however he wanted. And I do.
I’ll give him every bit of me that he wants.
I can’t remember how long it’s been since I’ve felt this alive. A spark I haven’t felt in years is blazing inside of me. He lifts my body in his arms and carries me to the bedroom. I lean into him. I don’t want to think about anything except how good it feels.
That’s all I care about. I just want to feel.
He tosses me onto the bed and immediately crawls toward me. He looks dangerous, he is dangerous. He licks his lips and climbs over my body, forcing me onto my back.
His lips crush mine, and I can faintly taste myself on his tongue. I smile and pull back as a blush rises to my cheeks. His chest shakes gently with his rough chuckle, and it warms every bit of me.
“Where are your cuffs?” he asks. My eyes widen at his question. My heart races in my chest.
“You need to learn to trust me, baby.” He kisses me with such passion I have to close my eyes.
“I can help you with that. Let me.”
I pull away from him and look at my dresser. They’re in the top drawer. My anxiety spikes.
“I can’t.” I push the words out. I know there’s something between us, but what that is, I’m not sure.
“You can,” he says, standing up from the bed. He walks to my dresser, following my line of sight and guessing correctly that the cuffs are there. They’re right on top, so he doesn’t have to look very long to find them.
“You could hurt me,” I state simply. It’s one thing to fool around, but another to give up control and make myself so helpless. I don’t want to be vulnerable. The very thought chills my blood.