My One And Only

My heart was thumping against my chest as I was back in the room from where I had come out in the evening.

I was staring at my reflection in the full-body vertical mirror that was installed in our closet.

Kian had gone out to attend to a call. Right after Madison left, she had dropped a tweet saying he had resigned from Wilson co and now his phone was flooded with emails, calls, sms.

She was clearly over drunk as I looked down at the gift she had given me. Black lingerie…

What on earth!!! She had just gifted me…

It could hardly pass out to be a piece of cloth. It was torn in every part. Some parts seemed like were made holes on it deliberately. After all, who could it be if not Madison’s doing?

But then should I not wear it??? After all, it was our wedding night.

Even the thought of it made me shiver. His kisses and touches had the power to drive me crazy and thinking what he might do to me tonight…made me close my eyes feeling the euphoria.

“I did resign and I will officially declare it tomorrow. ”

I heard him talking on the phone, his voice deeper in anger and frustration.

Maybe it was not the right time for a wedding night???

“Oh give me a break, Daniel. I did not plan this out…I was not intending to resign anytime soon but it happened ok…what else you want me to do right now???”

At that moment I could not help but feel responsible for the situation he was in. He was not planning to do what he did today…maybe not in his life ever if not for me coming in his life out of blue.

“I will talk to you tomorrow…I m really tired right now with everything that has been happening lately.”

“What the hell are you wearing??”

And that made me turn back to look at him out of shock, turning back, my eyes wide…I had not meant to let him see me in that lingerie yet.

His eyes raked up and down my body as I nervously kept my composure intact as he did not say another word and closed the door behind him.

“I will talk to you in the morning.”

He spoke into the phone and hung up the call without giving a second time for the person on the other side to answer.

I was embarrassed by myself even thinking that he would care about this marriage to consider consummating it.

As he moved closer, his eyes drowned into mine, my heart started racing, my feet glued to the spot where I had been standing for so long.

I was well aware of how much skin I was showing. The nakedness that no man had ever seen before.

I was expecting a different reaction from him. Maybe desire??? Or even a little bit of liking about this.

But maybe he did not like me in that way and it broke my heart coming to know that my husband did not desire my body as I did his.

Thinking had made my mind busy and not recognise when and how he stood so close towards me.

I could feel his hot air fanning over my face as his eyes behold mines. Before he could say or do anything, I moved backwards.

“I will go change.”

I said and walked away towards the bathroom in a hasty manner, not wasting any time to earn any more of disappointment.

When I had returned, the lights were off and I could see him on the other side of the bed, leaving the next spot empty beside him.

I quietly stepped forward and slipped inside the duvet, rolling my body to the other side, facing the wall.

That was not how I had pictured my wedding night to be. But with facing so many setbacks in life, it did not surprise me anymore.

I knew that I could not be selfish and ask him to be my husband body and soul when he only married me to protect me.

He had already done so much for me and here I was being greedy for more. By helping me had not cost him any good but difficulties.

If anything, I should be thankful to him and not feel sorry or complain. I could not help but recollect the memories after he rescued me and bought us to the courthouse.

He had not exposed the news to me right away that we were towed. And to think of I was doubting this man who had been nothing but selfless towards me…I was such a fool.

Maybe…maybe if I had not walked in and handed myself to Valeria…I would have been sleeping on the bed in the room of the condo tonight.

It was I who let us to this destiny. It was for me, he had to give up on his life and future.

For a second, laying beside him, I felt guilty for dragging him with me to the dark side of the future.

My stupidity had led us here. My ignorance, jealousy and doubts were responsible for trapping us in an unwanted marriage for life if only if he wished to free himself of me in the future.

And that mere thought made me bring my knees forward to my chest as my eyes watered, grieving the thought of being parted from the man I love so much that he had no idea of…and maybe he would never come to know either.

In the darkness of the night, even after being with the man I had loved for life made me feel the loneliest on the face of the earth for his presence seemed dreadful and unwanting of me.

And it hurt but regardless of it, how much more could I expect him to sacrifice for me?

So I turned around to face his back and whispered in the moonlight seeping in through the curtains.

“Thank you and sorry!”

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