Life, Once Again

After Story 3

It was 9 a.m. Even though he had set the alarm for six, he had never heard the alarm. He felt this when he was tossing in his bed without being able to sleep until 2, but it seemed that it would take at least a month to fix the lifestyle patterns engraved into this body.

Like many youths after their military service, the Han Maru of yesterday was also spending his time just making plans and not carrying any of them out. Getting fully adjusted to society by the end of summer vacation, and then studying for TOEIC and reviewing his major subjects was a grand plan that he devised, but it had become scrapped less than a week later.

The early morning wake up had disappeared without a trace after drinking throughout the night with his friends on the fourth day, and the firm determination to study had collapsed in the face of the new game console he bought.

Just like the famous sayings plastered on the wall, Han Maru's plans were scrapped into the depths of his memories after they didn't bear any fruit, much less a sweet one. It couldn't be helped. If he could do everything he planned, then he wouldn't be human.

He woke up his stiff body. He had forgotten to look at his own bodily state yesterday because he was busy calling Haneul and going over his memories.

His arms were sloppy and his belly was round. He didn't have a big thigh because he liked cycling, but it wasn't as if it streamline either. This was all thanks to having eaten instant foods during his later days in the military instead of doing foot volleyball and table tennis which he liked so much. Usually, people would create their bodies towards the end of their service, but looking back at the memories of that time, it seemed that he was ‘planning’ to go to the gym once he was discharged.

Of course, that never happened. He never went anywhere close to a gym.

“My man, why did you do that….” He lamented as he looked in the mirror.

The memories of being an actor were still fresh, so the untrained body was rather uncomfortable. It wasn’t like his body figure earned him money, so it wouldn’t matter even if he lived like this, but the habits that controlled his body in the life before kept telling him that this kind of body was unacceptable.

The first thing he did after washing his face and leaving the bathroom was toss the cigarettes into the trash. He had memories of dying because of lung cancer before, so he didn’t dare to smoke. He was planning to decrease alcohol consumption as well. No more drinking to the point of getting drunk.

He finished cleaning his house, which he didn’t the day before. As for the game console and the game CDs, he organized them in a box. He was planning to sell them as second-hand goods.

That one’s really fun though.

The Maru of this life signaled him to not sell it, but he lightly ignored it. It wasn’t that playing games was bad, but a game console was a luxury in the current environment. It wasn’t that his family was rich, and he had also gotten a student loan under his name, so spending hundreds of thousands of won for a hobby was something he should refrain from doing. If he felt bored, he could go to the public library or the public park, which were free throughout the year.

He left his house with the trash bag. After throwing it out, he went to the apartment management office. When he asked if there was a local bazaar, he was told that there was one every 15th and 30th of each month. The items that filled a corner of his living room flashed past in his head.

“Thank you for telling me.”

Having returned home, he fed the cat and called up Haneul.Exclusive content © by Nô(v)el/Dr/ama.Org.

-Wait a sec, I’m working.

He heard her talking to a customer over the phone. Now that he thought about it, she did say that she was working at a café. After telling her to call him back once she was free, he put his phone down. He had miraculously regained his life, but he was not as free as before.

Once a top star, his girlfriend was now making coffee at a café, and he was planning to drop out of college. There was no house under their name, nor a nice car, nor a thick bank account, but that didn’t matter at all. Those were all minor inconveniences that could be solved with some time, so there were no problems.

He wasn’t someone who made guarantees so easily, but he had the confidence to lead a better life economically than the immature Han Maru of this life. She was probably the same. A path filled with fear was one that was filled with uncertainty. As someone who had walked down numerous paths, the immediate difficulties he was facing only felt like a foothold for a better tomorrow.

Definitely, things had changed. The actor Han Maru of the previous life would have only thought about recovering the economic status regardless of the means, but right now, he could think about it with more leeway. It was a kind of leisure that was gained after the variety of experiences were combined in his mind. It was like a skilled chess player looking at many moves into the future.

-Come to the clubroom today.

When he picked up the call he got, the person on the other side left those words and hung up. He was a senior from his college club. He had enrolled in the photography club even though the only camera he had at home was the one on his phone. The club was a mix of two teams, one of which was a team that planned photography sessions and moved around busily, and the other was a team of people who just kept drinking all day in the name of a club. Maru was involved in the latter.

He stroked his face. The Han Maru of this life really did things that weren’t to his liking.

He also remembered the reason he joined the club. He was just going along with his friend, even though that friend had escaped somewhere else.

He must have felt a sense of guilt several times when he went drinking after paying millions of won just to go to college, so it was just frustrating that the regret only lasted a brief time as he ended up showing his face in the club again. If possible, he wanted to become the masked man and curse at his previous self a whole lot.

-There was suddenly a rush of customers. Why did you call?

She called as though she managed to find some time.

“There’s something I want to consult you about.”

-What is it?

“I’m going to drop out of college.”

-I thought you’d say that. You said you just got discharged from the military right?

“It’s been a month. No matter how hard I think about it, there’s no merit in continuing to go to college.”

-How are you going to explain this to your parents? They’ll be worried if their son suddenly says he’ll drop out of college.

“Thankfully, my parents are liberal in this life as well. I’m free to make a decision, but I’ll also have to take responsibility for it. It should be fine if I explain to them the circumstances. My mother might actually like it.”

-You never know. You don’t really have anything to do immediately, so parents these days will be worried if you suddenly say you’ll stop.

“Do you think it’ll be better for me to finish college then?”

-No. If you made a decision, then that must be what’s right for you. Just make sure you don’t make your parents worry. You know how parents feel, don’t you?

“I do. I really do.”

-Do you remember? The day Gaeul seriously said she didn’t want to go to school?

“That happened a few times, huh.”

-I think about thirty times according to my memory.

“I felt like the world was going to end every time.”

-Your parents must feel the same. They might be worried that their son might not want to get the proper education he deserves because they aren’t well off. They’re good people after all.

“You’re right.”

-Why don’t you keep dropping out a secret for the time being? It’s not like you’re going to play around. If you create a foundation, they might feel at ease.

“They say listening to your wife is the best thing you can do, so I’ll do that. How’s the work at the café? Isn’t it hard to make your own coffee after your manager made it for you every single time?”

-Hello, mister, I’ve worked at a restaurant hundreds of times. This is nothing compared to removing the oil stains on a grill.

“Where did you say the café was? I’ll visit on my way.”

-I’ll send you the location. But where are you going?

“College. I’m going to apply to drop out. If I need to consult a professor, then I just plan to get expelled.”

-No hesitation, huh?

“I don’t have time for that. Send me the address. Let’s eat dinner together.”

He left with his bag. What would his peers say if he said he was dropping out? They would be quite surprised since they were drinking happily just a few days ago.

He went to Yongsan station on line 1, which was as crowded as ever even on the weekend. It wasn’t that far to the college from the station, about seven stops by bus. When he got off the bus, he could see the college entrance in the distance. He looked back on his memories to go to the economics office.

“Oh, you’re dropping out? These days, you don’t have to make a visit, and you can do it on the internet. If you don’t have any tuition to get back, you just don’t have to come anymore. You’ll be expelled automatically,” the teaching assistant explained.

He left the office after a short visit. The ivory tower he entered with time and money could be left very easily.

After leaving the building, he scanned the building up and down. It was a place filled with his memories, so he had to look at it at least one last time.

He drank water he bought at a convenience store and went to the clubroom building. Once he was done saying goodbye to the members of the club, he would never come here again.

“Hey, Hanmal, you’re here?”

Hanmal. That was a nickname he got from his clubroom. He smiled and scanned the people in the room.

“Looks like you still haven’t gotten adjusted to society after getting discharged. Our new members probably don’t know, but he’s Han Maru, and he went to the military even though he’s in his second year. He’s a pitiful returning student, so don’t bully him and treat him well. Hanmal, what are you doing? You should say hello to our new ones,” said the senior. Maru didn’t like this guy because he disdained others in the most indirect way, but he couldn't put distance between them as he was a central figure in the club, so Maru got along with him with a smile. He could feel the memories and the emotions.

“Look at him dazing out. Juniors, he’s like that because he’s embarrassed so don’t misunderstand him. The dude’s pretty dense even after he went to the military. What are you going to do about your personal relations without me?”

“About those personal relations, I’m here to wrap them up.”

“Huh?”

“I’m dropping out. The reason I came here today is that I remembered a photo I left here before I went to the military. I’ll just take that and go. As for the MT, you can go by yourselves.”

The only faces he knew here were the senior that looked down on him and a girl he wasn’t close to, so he just finished his words there. Honestly, there was not a single person he wanted to stay close to in the clubroom.

The previous Maru might consider them lifelong friends bound by alcohol, but in the eyes of the current him, all of those relationships were shallow and would disappear after half a year. He was a calculative man, so he figured out whether he should stay close to a person or not, whether he liked it or not.

He grabbed the album and looked for the photo. It was a photo he took in the Gangwon province before he drowned in booze. It wasn’t a great photo and it didn’t contain anything special, but he wanted to keep it because it was his first time doing it.

“Hey, Han Maru,” the senior called. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Don’t mind me and just keep doing what you were doing. I’ll take my leave now.” He grabbed the doorknob after checking to see if there was anything else he had to take with him. The eyes of the dozens of people in the clubroom coldly stared at him. Maru smiled at them before leaving.

“Hey, what kind of bad attitude is this?” the senior followed him out. He was someone with a lot of pride, so it seemed that he couldn’t take being ignored.

Maru thought that he would refrain from acting out since people were looking, but he seemed to have underestimated his pettiness.

“Senior, you should go inside and continue.”

“Your words are quite offensive, you know?”

“I’ll apologize if that was the case. But I’m not even a student here anymore, so don’t mind me.”

“You punk. You don’t have any manners. I looked after you so much, so why’s your attitude like that?”

“Just take it as who I really am. Also, please send me the 300 thousand won I lent you to my account soon.”

“Are you doing this because of the money? Do you think your personal relations are finished just because you drop out? Punk, I didn’t see you like that, but you’re quite petty.”

“Yes, that’s right. So please send the money as soon as possible.”

“It’s not that I don’t have the money, but I won’t give it to you because I don’t like how you’re acting.”

“It’ll be better for both of us if you send the money. I would consider it charity if I was well off, but in this life, my wallet is quite fragile.”

“What are you saying?”

“I won’t say anything much. Send it by the end of the week.”

“Bullshit.”

The senior snorted and went back to the clubroom. Maru watched the door slam shut before turning around.