Leave Me Behind

I’ve waited for years for this one night. I’d wait many more if I had to. I’ve moved mountains to rescue her. And it was worth every drop of sweat, blood, and tears.

Bunny cups my cheek with her soft hand. It feels so different than before. Her callouses are gone and so are all the stains of war on her skin. The last time I saw her this close we were covered in blood and slowly dying. She said cruel things to me and it fucking broke my heart.

It puts air in my lungs that she was relieved to see me.

“Come on, Bun. I brought your uniform.” I pull my bag to the side and unzip it, handing her tactical gear. Her eyes harden as she looks at the set.

My brows knit. “What’s wrong?”

She shakes her head. “I haven’t worn a uniform since our last night together.” Maybe not. But I still wouldn’t want to tussle with her on a fighting mat.

“Can you still shoot?” I ask, concern blooming in my voice. My exit plan kind of included her being by my side.

Bunny laughs and it warms my heart. I’ve missed her so fucking much. My hands tremble thinking about how I forced myself to walk away. If Eren hadn’t been on the verge of death… I shake my head. Don’t replay all the suffering, I chide myself.

She grins. “Of course. What else am I supposed to do but practice? But promise me we won’t kill anyone unless we have to. These men aren’t bad. They’re just loyal to an asshole, just like you are to Eren.” She slips out of her night clothes and I search her skin for bruises or any sign of mistreatment. But she’s unharmed. That alone lifts a weight off my chest that’s been slowly suffocating me.

“Was he good to you?” I can’t look her in the eyes as I ask. Guilt has been my friend for three terrible years.

She kisses my cheek and forces my chin to face her. “He treated me like a queen. I never wanted for anything.” Oh. Am I too late… “Anything but for you. I could never love him like I do you, Bradshaw. He was good to me… but he isn’t you.”

I deflate and press my forehead to hers. “Are you sure? I don’t have these luxuries to offer you, Bun. I can’t fly you to London and Italy on a whim and drown you with expensive wines. In fact, I’m not even sure I can offer much more than a warm place to lie down at night.”

She lets a sweet laugh out before pressing a kiss to my lips. “Have you been watching me?” Hope lingers in her eyes for my answer, as if every time she laid out on the sundecks of London’s finest hotels, she hoped I’d be watching.

She’s not wrong.

“Always. I’ve been watching you all this time. Sometimes from binoculars or across the room. Other times from surveillance. I’ve been with you. Each starlit walk you took with him, every small look over your shoulder waiting for someone. For me. I was there. I never left you behind.” Her eyes brim with tears and it’s enough to make me crumble.

It killed me to never know if she loved him the way she did me. I watched him fuck her many times. I watched them sleep peacefully together and kiss like old lovers. But I never saw her tell him that she loved him. Not once.

Her smile is warm as she leans in to kiss me and murmurs, “What took you so long?”

I stare down at her and choke on my words. “Jenkins is as careful as they come. He has the tightest security in the world. Eren and Jefferson took out his main division in Europe a few days ago. The second Jenkins took the bait I was on the ground and en route. I promise you, Bunny, not one day has passed where I rested. Not one.”

“You should’ve forgotten about me.” Her eyes fill with pain as she glides her hand down my chest.

“Impossible.” I take her hand and press it against my heart. “You feel that, Bun? It only beats for you. Bones has been dead for years. I just woke up again when I kissed you.” Her eyes brim with tears but I know my words reach her.

“I love you, Bradshaw.”

My eyes widen and a throb rolls through my chest. I’d wait a lifetime to hear those words. Her smile is everything I’ve dreamt about.

“I love you too. I want you to say it to me a thousand more times.” I press a kiss to her forehead. “After we get home.”

“Lead the way, sir,” she coos, pulling up her mask and winking at me.

God, I fucking missed her.

“We’re going to keep to the west wing and exit on the terrace viewing the lake.” I know it’s the one she frequents the most. I won’t tell her that I’ve sat across that godforsaken lake for more hours than anyone should have to, watching her stare out into the wilderness like a lovesick pup. I watched Jenkins take her there and kiss her. She’d touch him adoringly and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t look away.

It hurt. It always did.

And I know a part of her will always love him.

Eren knew their history. He warned me the moment he woke up back in Coronado.

“Are you sure she even wants to be rescued? It sounds like she wants to be with him. What happens if you show up and she doesn’t want to come back?” Eren sat up in his hospital bed, hair messy and body bandaged. “She stayed for a reason.”Original from NôvelDrama.Org.

I glared at him. “She saved our lives.”

Eren looked away, he knew it too. He also knew he handed Jenkins the only leverage he could ever have on him. I saw how easily that man killed people.

I knew we were done with the underground shit. Eren wanted out of the game.

“I’m shocked he gave in to her demands. I didn’t think he’d just… let us go like that,” I said with an extinguished breath and hung my head.

Eren had let out a cruel laugh. “You idiot. He’s infatuated with her and if he didn’t let us go, he knew she’d go out fighting until either she was dead or he was. Letting us go was an easy choice for him… but you need to remember those two were together for years. She’s loyal to him, Bradshaw.”

No, she’s not, I thought. I don’t give a fuck what she said. She only said it to hurt my feelings. She gave herself up for us.

“I’m going to get her back with or without you.” I stood and walked to the door.

Eren groaned and snapped at me, “Fine. But we can’t just march back in there. He’s going to be prepared and he has nothing to lose. His queen is tucked safely under his arm now.”

I stood facing the door for a few moments before turning back to him. “How then?”

He lit a cigarette and breathed in smoke slowly. “Leave it to me. I’ll get some of my buddies in Europe to stir things up. But it’s going to take time, Bradshaw. We’re going to need to be careful and wait. Patience is Jenkins’s ace. We need to pull strings where we can and hope for the best.”

My heart split at that moment.

“How long?”

Eren gave me a weary, pitiful look that tore through my soul.

“HOW LONG?” I closed the distance between us in a few strides and fisted the collar of his shirt. My brother plucked the cigarette from his lips and sighed.

“At least two years.”

Two…

Then three.

Then I was done waiting.

I couldn’t wait any longer, even if it was risky to push the timeline. I needed to come back for Bunny. To hold her and kiss her. To tell her I died more each time I watched her waiting for me to show up. Her sad eyes when Jenkins kissed her.

I’d left her small things that I hoped she’d see and know I was watching her. That I was with her always.

A bunny in the field. The drawings through the condensation of her hotel windows. The bunny stickers on restaurant menus where she frequented.

“Ready?” I ask, hand on the door, admiring the fierce expression I remember take its place back on her face.

She nods and I open the door.