Leave Me Behind

Bradshaw kneels beside me as we scrub our uniforms free of the excess blood and mud. Normally I wouldn’t care too much about the dirty gear, but with the rain and stickiness of the blood, the material is too stiff to perform well in.

We’ve been sorting out ideas all afternoon, ranging from trying to regroup with the squad so Bradshaw can explain things to Eren so he doesn’t want me dead, to proceeding as planned with the mission and hopefully running into Malum there.

“That’s stupid,” I retort, drawing my jacket from the water and shaking it out. I hang it on the clothesline we crafted from the rope Bradshaw used to bind my wrists.

“He’ll listen to me, Bunny,” he barks back. He sounds much more like himself today. He got his fight and banter back with rest. So have I.

Will he? Clearly Eren brought me here for a reason.

“I’m not so sure he will.”

Bradshaw stops midway as he lifts his shirt over the clothesline and shoots me a glare. “We can’t take the enemy fortress alone.”

The exasperated breath I blow out has his jaw muscles feathering. “Can’t we? I’m going to find out who’s trying to kill you and finish the mission. Once they’re dead, I don’t care what happens to me. With or without the Malum Squad.”

He shakes his head. “Stop talking like that.”

“Why? Your brother won’t let me live and I’m not even close to getting my cards—” I lower my head and stare at the bright tiles of the bathroom. The fluorescent lights flicker above.

Bradshaw moves to stand in front of me. “And?” His voice is back to being cruel and it makes me smile.

“So even if I come back from this mission, it’s not like I can stay with you. They’ll set you free while I remain a dark forces weapon.”

Fury flashes across his eyes and he tips my chin up so I meet his gaze. “You think I’d let them keep you here without me?” I hold his stare. Steady and unmoving.

“I don’t see what choice you have.” I shove him back playfully and he doesn’t waste a second before he’s backing me into the mirror wall. My skin burns with its icy sting.Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.

Bradshaw’s eyes search mine desperately, a mix of emotions tangling inside him. “You almost sound like you want me to go without you.” He presses his palms against the mirror on either side of my head.

I tilt my lips to his. “What if I do?”

His brow arches and he guides me away from the mirror by a few inches before he smashes his fist into it.

The mirror shatters and glass shards crash to the floor. When I stare into Bradshaw’s eyes, only obsession burns there. He pushes his forehead against mine and pins my wrist to the wall. I don’t fight him—I only stare back with the same lust and confusion eating my sanity away.

He presses his knee between my thighs.

“Are you trying to scare me? It’s not working,” I whisper against his temple.

“Trust me. If I wanted to scare you, you’d be scared. I’m only getting you excited,” he murmurs back, his warm breath on my lips.

Then he kisses me. It’s violent and passionate all at once. The pressure on my wrists increases and draws a mewl from my lips. Bradshaw quickly devours the sound with his own deep groan. He coaxes my mouth open and our tongues quickly tangle together fervently.

“Fuck,” he moans into my mouth as he presses his groin to my core. His bulge sends an excited thrum through my entire body. He loosens his hold on my wrists and pulls me to the bench on the opposite wall.

“Wait.” I gasp as he pushes me down on the bench and spreads my legs. I’m in nothing but the white oversized T-shirt and my undies. My hands come down over the shirt in a feeble attempt to cover my center. Partly because I’m embarrassed by how wet I already am and because we don’t have time for this. We should be devising a plan to infiltrate the hostile base, not fighting and fucking and… whatever it is we’re doing.

He looks up at me, dark strands of hair falling over his forehead, making my heart patter faster. “Wait for what? Don’t tell me you’re shy now. Does that mean you care about me, Bun?” His lip turns up and I shake my head.

“No. I mean—we don’t have time,” I babble, trying to find the words.

He laughs as he pries my hands away from my shirt and sets them on the edge of the bench. “Baby, who cares? We have all the time we need.”

I shudder as he slips my underwear to the side and strokes a finger through my wet slit. My thighs instantly try to close, but he catches my knee.

“Now, I want you to think long and hard about who’s eating you from the inside out while I lap you up. I want you screaming my name. I want you to be as possessive as I am of you.” His voice drips with lust.

I’m already possessive of you, I want to shout over and over, but my pride won’t let me. What does that say about me? How depraved and starved I am for a man like him?

I guess I’m about to find out.

“Stare into the mirror and watch me consume you. I won’t stop until you’re trembling in my arms.” He slips a mirror shard into my hand. “And I want you to punish me until you can forgive me for what I’ve done to you. For everything. I want you to make your mark on me, Bunny. Punish me so I can forgive me,” he begs in a low voice.

The glass shard is as big as my combat knife. My eyes meet his as he dips closer to my core. “Eyes on the mirror. Watch me eat you. Watch yourself draw my blood.”

What the fuck. Why am I so aroused by everything he says? Everything he does.

I let my eyes focus on the reflection. My cheeks are red, my dark braid messy, and my eyes roll seductively. Bradshaw is on his knees before me.

I find my voice. “Strip naked,” I command.

He strokes his hot tongue up my center like an animal and removes his boxers at the same time. His obedience is new and it makes his tongue teasing swirls around my clit all the more sensual. My back arches and I let out a moan.

Bradshaw pulls away for only a second to take his shirt off before eagerly returning to my pussy like it’s the best damn thing he’s ever had.

I’m aware I’ve seen this man naked, fucked him, and have had the absolute displeasure of being his second for countless hours. But this is different and I can’t seem to place why.

The hard planes of his body are bare. His back muscles flex as he spreads me out and sucks on my clit. A jolt of pleasure and pain shoots up my stomach and I writhe. But anger coils in my chest. I’m letting him pleasure me when only yesterday he was going to kill me.

I put that glass shard he gave me to use, sitting up, fisting his hair, and shoving his face roughly into my center. He groans and grips my thighs as he pushes his tongue as far as it will go inside me. I suppress the moan and focus on pressing the edge of the glass into the middle of his back, between two long knife-like scars.

“Carve me up,” he murmurs against my clit before sucking in my sensitive flesh and making my vision blur with pleasure.

My orgasm builds and with sheer will alone I keep it from climaxing as I cut into his flesh. Bright blood rolls down his back and deviates over the grooves in his hips before dripping to the tiles below. He grunts and fists his cock with one hand.

This is for all the terrible things he did to me. This is for betraying me and humiliating me. For slicing my ribs and for choking me. For all the fucked up shit this evil man has done. But most of all, I do it because I forgive him. Because I want to leave my mark on his skin forever like he did mine. I want to own him as much as he craves to dominate me.

I cut the design until I’m satisfied and the anger inside my chest is satiated. Until I can’t hold out any longer. The shard falls to the ground and clammers. Bradshaw shoves two fingers into me and rubs against my inner walls, flicking my clit with his hot tongue until I’m finally trembling with the orgasm. I brace both hands on his shoulders and cling for life as my hips buck involuntarily and I come all over his face.

He strokes his tongue through my center over and over, devouring me and groaning. I watch through hooded eyes in the mirror. Bradshaw slowly moves up on me, kissing my hip bone and licking up my stomach and chest. His eyes slowly rise up to mine and I bite my lower lip as need starts to build in my core again.

“You are where my sanity starts,” he murmurs gravely, his jaw setting and brows knitting. He hates to admit these things to me—that much is obvious. But it warms my chest that he shares it with me anyway.

“You are where mine ends,” I whisper back. His eyes soften as he leans up and kisses me. Our souls collide. He wraps his palm around the back of my head and coaxes my lips apart with his tongue, deepening the kiss. I let out a soft moan as he adorns me with his affection. His lips aren’t demanding like before, not filled with animosity and rage. Each stroke of his tongue against mine is eager and curious. Soft and longing.

Bradshaw palms my breast and nudges my legs apart. I spread my thighs for him and he brings his hips to mine. His swollen cock is hot on my skin. Pre-come beads at the tip and smears across my stomach as he wraps his arms around my lower back and lifts me up. My legs instinctively loop around his torso and he chuckles darkly as his cock throbs between our flesh. I swallow hard.

“I like this shy side of you. It’s cute.” Bradshaw nips at my lips and gives me a provocative raise of his brow. He carries me to the edge of the bathtub and turns on the water. Steam rolls as the tub fills and my pulse steadily increases with each stroke of his thumb against my collarbone.

“I’m not being shy.” It comes out higher than my usual tone and I die a little inside.

He smiles warmly and it hits me in the gut how sweet and unlike himself it is. “It’s okay, Bun, you can be yourself around me. You don’t have to always be tough. Let your walls down for once.” He smooths his hand over my thigh as he positions himself at my entrance. My head falls back as he stretches my core with his dick. I brace my hands against the rim of the tub. He grabs my hips and buries his fingers into my flesh as he starts to pump into me.

I cry out as he pushes to the hilt.

“That’s it, baby, you take me in so fucking good. Does it feel good when I stretch you out?” he says against my lips, thrusting into me at an agonizingly slow pace.

“Fuck yes,” I mumble as I kiss him. He groans and sets a ruthless pace, gripping my ass and fucking me so hard my eyes start to water. My moans bounce on the walls of the metal-framed bunker.

My pussy grips his cock tightly as I climax. My entire body seizes and I dig my nails into his shoulders. Bradshaw groans and picks up his pace, staring down at where we are joined together and making a fucking mess.

“You’re going to take all my come and you better not spill a drop of it.” He grits his teeth together and the veins in his neck bulge. He ruts into me one final time and the force of it almost pushes me into the tub filling with water. His dick throbs inside me, filling me with his hot seed.

Bradshaw holds me tightly, our bodies still pressed together. The only motion is our breaths and the pulsing of him deep in my stomach. After his balls stop seizing and his breathing becomes even, he pulls away from me enough to share my gaze. We seem to come to the same conclusion. His pale blue eyes are alight with winter embers, flickering with the emotions a broken man has long since sealed away. I find secrets and words I’m unsure he’s ready to say. And a part of me wonders if he reads the same sad lines in my gaze too.

I love you. I shouldn’t, but I do.