Jack Of All Trades (Erotica)

“It is not our intention to interfere with their society. They’ve had a stable government for as long as they’ve been on Chrystan. We’re just… concerned as close neighbors. Go, meet with their Queen and King. Speak with the cabinet members and walk amongst the people. The Shreen are really nice. It’s distressing to hear this stability may be in jeopardy,” Elissa requested. “They have amazing hot spring resorts. You like snow, don’t you?”ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .

Jack chuckled at the pleading tone in Elissa’s voice. “I don’t dislike it.” He thought for a moment. It had been years since he went skiing. It might be fun to do it again. “These resorts. Do they offer skiing?”

“Skiing? What’s that?” Elissa asked.

“Obviously, you’re no snow bunny,” Jack teased as he did a search on his computer filtering by Earth sports and found a vid. He spun his screen and played the vid showing a man carving his way down a mountainside in fresh powder snow up to his waist.

“Oh! How is he moving so gracefully and fast through the snow!” Karrel exclaimed. “Ah! What’s that on his feet!” she yelped as the skier in the vid leapt over a small tree.

Jack froze the vid. He pointed to the long skis. “These are skis. Long very slippery boards which support the weight of the skier on the snow and allow him to move through it quickly.”

“The Shreen have large wide feet for walking on snow. They wouldn’t fit on these narrow things.” Karrel said.

“I guess that answers the question of will they have skiing at the resort,” he said and both ladies shook their heads.

He thought for a moment then pulled up a different vid. Nordic skiing was also fun and didn’t require a mechanism to get you back to the top of the hill.

“Is this skiing too?” Elissa asked.

“Yes, this is a different kind but I also enjoyed it back on Earth. If you’re sending me to a winter planet I want to do some skiing. This kind is easier to do without the resort having to prepare anything,” he answered.

“Does this mean you’ll go?” Elissa asked.

“Have I ever refused you anything?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

She just grinned widely.

“Are you going to order some skis for yourself?” Karrel asked with a smile.

Jack looked at the two women. “No, I have to be fitted for skis at a shop that sells them.”

They lost their smiles. “That means-”

“A visit to Earth first.” He wondered if Queen Elissa would cancel her request but he saw a crafty look appear in her eyes.

“Challenge accepted. Be at the Gate Terminal in two hours for your trip to Earth,” she said with a smile as Karrel looked at her in worry.

Jack looked at her in surprise. “Today?”

“As of this morning you are on a Diplomatic mission with a few days of vacation. Karrel will cover for you in the Embassy. Your Trade office appointments have already been shifted until you return,” Elissa said.

Jack blinked in surprise. “Will I get time to pack before you push me out into the snow?”

They chuckled evilly.

>>>>>>>

Jack hadn’t traveled by Gate since the one visit to the Gate Network headquarters after his kidnapping to speak with the special council about the fate of the Allsa Komanae. Since then he’d stayed close to home. As he stood in the terminal he let the last of the chills run down his spine. He’d push through this. He held faith in Elissa’s promise not to ever send him into danger. She’d let him pick the destination on Earth this time and he’d worked out the time of day and season so he was assured to have enough time to shop and the place should have a store catering to his needs.

He had on a green hoodie, his black one having been shredded by his horns. He had his protective caps on but he would pull the hood up only when they went through the Gate.

He was waiting on his escort. The Queen said she’d check to see if his favorite team was available and he smiled when he saw Gee and Bal walk in the door. They smiled back to him. He wanted so badly to pull them into a hug but he saw they were on duty so it was all business. They gestured for him to walk up to the customs and security agent. He gave their destination and were given the Gate ID.

They made their way into the Gate room and he pulled his hood up to hide his horns. Then they walked through the mirror surface. Jack felt just the slightest tingle and he was in Stockholm, Sweden on Earth. He marvelled once more at the simplicity of such an action and the magnitude of its significance. The Gates really were the most amazing invention ever! He looked around and froze when he saw the smiling faces. Here was Queen Elissa’s answer to his challenge.

Tall, muscular, and truly imposing in her commando gear, with a nasty assault weapon over her shoulder and knives strapped to her thighs, Major Cha’Risa Ash stood front and center. Next to her a tall, slim redhead with a perpetual crooked smile, Captain Nann Graf nodded to him. Two almost identical, solidly built greying brush cuts carrying nastier looking assault weapons, Corporal Leo Orlov and Corporal Maxim Volkov grinned widely at him.

Finally, the last member of their team, a shiny Tik hovered at their side. Tik were neutral, always, and didn’t take roles in the military. This meant this particular Tik was Lieutenant Ray Sharif. The first and only sentient AI created from a human mind. The Tik saved him and gave him a Tik body to preserve his mind as the matrix it was built on was degrading.

“Oh my god! I didn’t expect to see you guys here!” Jack exclaimed happily.

Cha’Risa grinned and shook his hand. “We were in the neighborhood, London to be precise, when the request came through from a certain Queen to take care of her special package. Who could pass up a task like that?”

“It’s so great to see you all! How have you been doing?”

“Really good! We just got back from hunting some smugglers,” Nann said with a grin and the two men shared her delight but on them the grin looked a little bloodthirsty.

“Ray, is our transport ready?” Cha’Risa asked.

“It will be at the door when we arrive,” he answered.

“Any chatter?”

“No Major. No indication that our presence has been noted at all.”

“Good.”

With a nod they made their way to the front of the building and stepped outside just as a small bus pulled up. They stepped inside, Jack spoke an address into the mic, and were moving back out into traffic in seconds.

“Do you have to get a security detail escort like this every time you shop?” Ray asked Jack.

“I haven’t been back on Earth since… then,” Jack answered.

“Oh, sorry,” the man in the Tik body said.

Jack shrugged. “It’s fine. I had to get back on the horse sometime.”

“Where are we taking you today?” Cha’Risa asked.

“There’s an outfitter for sporting goods I read about. I need to get fitted for Nordic skis. The clothes and all the gear,” Jack said, suddenly feeling silly for having the commando team as escort on a shopping trip.

“Us as well,” Gee offered.

Jack looked at Gee and Bal in surprise.

“Did you not know that we were going with you?” Gee asked.

“No! Nobody mentioned it! I was told there are no other Altarians there. Too cold. Are you sure-”

“We will be fine,” Gee assured him.

“I don’t think they will have any shoes that will fit your hooves,” Jack said looking down.

“We will find something and make a custom solution before we leave,” Bal said, scanning the traffic outside the window.

Twenty minutes later they pulled into a side street next to a busy sporting goods store. The commando team got out first and indicated the coast was clear.

Feeling more ridiculous with each passing moment Jack made his way inside with his jet black escorts. Naturally heads turned in the shop, from customers and staff.

An older man in the shops uniform approached and said something in Swedish then shook his head. “My apologies, Ambassador Danner. Can I help you with something?”

Identity out of the bag and he really had to admit the hoodie thing just wasn’t cutting it anymore, Jack pushed it back and smiled at the man. “Yes, hi, I was hoping I might get outfitted for some Nordic skis, poles, shoes, gaiters, thermal wear, bodysuit, the works. My friends here need the same.”

“Certainly Ambassador!” the man said with a delighted smile.

“Please, call me Jack.”

The man nodded with a smile and gestured for them to follow. Jack was aware of each and every eyeball turned in his direction.

The man took time explaining their options and took weight and measurements of all three of them. Due to Gee and Bal’s petite natures they were being outfitted with skis for teens. Jack’s options were more limited due to how heavy he was. Finally they made their selections and the man moved off to get the order started as they tried on thermal clothing. Jack insisted they all get wicking undergarments and then wondered how that worked for furred beings. Item after item went into their baskets.