Ex-husband’s Regret

"Is it not her? Could it be me?" I met his gaze without flinching, asking each word deliberately.

To say that I had no expectations would be a lie. I could deceive anyone, but I couldn't deceive my own heart. I still hadn't let go.

Even though I knew perfectly well that there was no possibility for us to continue, I still hoped that over these years, he had liked me even for a brief, fleeting moment. Eight years. How many of those would I get in a life time?

His dark eyes were like whirlpools, as if trying to pull me in. His voice carried a mesmerizing power, "If I said yes, would we not get divorced then? How about it?"

I froze, then froze again, for a long time, looking at him as soberly as I could, shaking my head.

"Ryan, even if you liked me at some point, it would only prove that all these years weren't entirely about me loving you. I might have been slightly more willing. But this... isn't a reason for us to continue."

"All these years?"

"Yes, all these years."

Suddenly, I was willing to lay bare this relationship completely, without hiding anymore. I smiled. "Eight years, Ryan. I've liked you since university. I've liked you for eight years."

Saying it all out loud might leave no room for regrets anymore.

I told him openly that I liked him. It wasn't embarrassing.

"How could it..."

Ryan looked surprised, then pleased and suspicious, "In university, weren't you fond of Jack?

I took a deep breath, covering up the bitterness in my heart. "Who told you that? Or do you think any boy and girl who get along well must be in love?"

But..."

"Did you forget? Didn't you wish me a happy eighth anniversary not long ago?" I

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forced a smile, not a particularly pleasant one, and said, "That day, when I woke up in the school hospital and saw you, I liked you Thank you for taking me to the hospital in time and thank you for finding so many ways to take me out to eat."

"You"

Ryan avoided my gaze, swayed slightly, throat tightening, "Y like me because of that?"

For some reason, I seemed to see panic in lim.

I pinched my palm, pretending to be relaxed, "Maybe to you, it was just a small effort that you had long forgotten, but to me back then, they were all shining moments... Ryan, no matter what, the old me was very grateful to you."

Having said it all, after today, I would start a new life.

e past, all wiped clean.

I... no longer owed him anything!

Suddenly, he pulled out a cigarette case, took one out, bit it between his lips, and lit it. Even doing this seemed exceptionally refined and elegant coming from him. After a few puffs of smoke, his expression became even more inscrutable.

Smoking faster, he choked a bit harshly, unusually disheveled as he looked at me," If... if the person who took you to the school hospital that day wasn't me..."

13

He coughed a few times, his eyes reddening, his voice became hoarse. "Would you still have liked me?"