Ex-Husband's Regret

Chapter 327

Ava.

“Is it okay if I come to visit tomorrow? There is something I wanted to talk to you about.”

I was on a phone call with Nora, or should I say my biological mother. I’ve been thinking hard these past few days, and I decided that I was finally going to give them a chance.

Both Nora and Theo seem like good people, and I’ve always craved that parental love. Maybe this was my chance of getting it. I wanted to get to know them, and I wanted a relationship with them.

It’s not their fault that Kate and James were horrible parents to me, and I couldn’t judge them based on my bad experience with my adopted parents.

“That would be wonderful, Ava. We’ve missed you and our grandchildren so much. I wanted to call or visit, but I didn’t want to push you if you weren’t ready,” she gushed in a sing song voice.

It made me smile, to be honest, and I haven’t smiled since that night.

“What time is okay with you?”

“Ava, you’re our daughter; whatever time you want to come, day or night, is simply fine with us” she answers.

After talking with her for a while, we finally hung up. Releasing a tired sigh, I place my phone down and just stare at the blank television.

My mind wanders back to that night. How did things just shift from great to downright ugly? Everything had been perfect until my brain chose to remember. I’ve come to realize that truly, ignorance is bliss.

Part of me wishes that I hadn’t remembered.

It still cuts me deep when I remember the words he flung at me. I never thought that’s what he thought of me or our intimate moments. I’ve always wanted more passion and heat between us, and I knew that he was holding back, but I still loved the rare occasions we slept together. I treasured them and it hurt knowing that to him it wasn’t anything special, just a way to release pent–up sexual energy and to think of Emma.

I should have expected it, though. He didn’t love me and he didn’t value me. I was naïve, what the hell did I expect? That he actually enjoyed fucking me? I was nothing but a hole that satisfied his deepest fantasies about Emma.

I release a tired breath and push those thoughts away. I was tired of constant thinking about those words. The kids were asleep, and it was time I went to bed to.

I stand up and head to the door. I was about to lock it and turn of the lights when I heard a car, seconds later a knock.

Opening the door, I’m surprised to find Gabe and Rowan. Rowan was drunk and the only thing preventing him from face planting on the floor was Gabe’s hands.

“Hey, Ava. Sorry to bother you this late, but I had to bring him home” Gabe greets respectfully, something that shocks me a bit.

I shake my head to clear the fog before nodding, “It’s okay, come in”

I step aside and let them into the house. Since that night, Rowan has rarely slept here. He chose to stay at his penthouse to give me space. He’s tried everything, calling, texting, talking directly to me, but I refused to hear him out because the wound has still been fresh.

His calls remained answered, I deleted his texts without reading them and when we were in close proximity, I ignored him like he didn’t exist. For a moment, I also almost blocked his number.

“Is it okay if I take him to the bedroom?” Gabe asks.

I know what bedroom he was talking about and I numbly agree. I’m still speechless seeing Rowan drunk and passed out. The last time he got drunk was a day before Noah was born, I don’t understand why he’s back at it again.

Minutes later, Gabe comes down and he’s about to leave when I stop him.

“Did you drink?” I ask, studying him.

“Yes, though not as much as Rowan” he answered politely.

It felt so weird talking to him like this. Before, we would just ignore each other, but right now it felt like I could actually talk to him which in itself was weird.

“Is your driver with you?”

“No. I had someone drop me off at the club when I heard that Rowan was drinking alone. I drove his car back here” Belonging to NôvelDrama.Org.

“You can spend the night here. There is no need for you to drive back home while intoxicated, in fact you shouldn’t have driven here. You should have called a cab.” I stated before I lock the door, turn on the security system and switch off the lights outside.

“Ava, it’s okay. I can take a taxi” he looks at me weirdly, but I don’t have time to decipher the meaning of his look.

“There’s no need for that. Spend the night, have breakfast with us tomorrow then you can leave. It’s really no problem”

He stares at me, his eyes burning, much like his brother’s. I shift from one foot to another, feeling awkward.

“Okay then” he finally agrees. “Thank you”

“Sure, goodnight”

I hear him mumble a goodnight as I walk past him. I climb up the stairs wondering why I insisted on Gabe staying. He was right, he could have taken a taxi and he’s a man who knows how to take care of himself.

The simple answer is, I was tired of holding on to past grudges. I don’t want to be bitter and angry all my life. What they did to me wasn’t my fault and it will always be on them, but choosing to be resentful and bitter? That will be on me.

I don’t know how I was in the four years that I don’t remember, but what I want now is to live happily. All I want now, is to heal and be the best version of myself. That will never happen if I decide to hold on to past grudges.

I get to the bedroom and push the door open. Rowan was still in his suit, lying on top of the covers. I would have left him like that, but he would be more comfortable in his pajamas.

I get to work, carefully taking off his clothes without waking him up. Once that’s done, I get him under the covers. It’s feat given he’s double my size, but I finally get him under.

After covering him and making sure that his comfortable, I turn. I was just about to leave when he grabs my hand and stops me.

I turn and look at him, seeing his sadness glaring at me. I want to push his hands away but I can’t. He has a hold on me, not just on my hand, but also my heart.

“Please don’t leave me, Ava” he pleads, his voice broken. “I can’t lose you. I just can’t”