Ex-Husband's Regret

My heart beats wildly as I listen to them.

Do you think he told her the truth?

That single sentence keeps playing in my mind record. I feel paralyzed as I wait for Rowan to reply.

I hold Iris tightly in my arms because I could feel not only my hands but my shaking. I try to breathe in and then out, but the air gets stuck in my wind pipes.

I lean against the wall, just to keep myself standing upright. I was weak in the knees, and the last thing I wanted was to collapse to the ground while holding my daughter.

Thankfully, Iris had fallen asleep; otherwise, I would have been caught.

“I honestly don’t know,” Rowan murmurs, his voice strained.

Remember when I said that my heart was beating wildly? Yeah, now it’s a hundred times worse.

“She’s suspicious of you, meaning someone mentioned something to her. Given that Ethan doesn’t like you, then it’s probably him.”

They were quiet for a moment. My ears are ringing, and the only sound I hear is the beating of my heart. It was so loud in my ears that I was afraid they would hear it and know that I hadn’t left.

“What are you going to do now? You only have two options: either you tell her the truth or go on pretending like nothing’s wrong,” Gabe tells him after a while.

F uck. This was hard to listen to. To know that my husband was hiding something from me.

I was waiting patiently for his answer when I got this sense of deja vu.

Had something like this happened before?

Before I could answer that question, a memory filters through my mind. Something like this had happened only it wasn’t Gabe and Rowan I was listening to. It was Noah and Rowan.

I was in this exact position, leaning against this exact wall, only instead of holding Iris, I clutched some documents close to my chest.

“Don’t you love her?”

He clears his throat. “Noah…”

“Dad, do you love mommy or not?” Noah asks him again.

I hear him sigh in defeat. “I love her for giving me you,” he finally answers

I stumble at the pain that rips through me. The pain that I felt when he said that. My breaths come in and out hard as I try to breathe through the pain that suddenly attacks me.

Was the memory from before or after we chose to go our separate ways?

I try to remember more; I’m successful, but it isn’t what I was expecting.

“Has anyone ever told you it’s rude to listen to other people’s conversations?”

His voice was cold and emotionless. The look of hate and disdain filtered into his asked me what the hell I was doing there.

Fuck, this was the Rowan I was used to. The Rowan who destroyed my heart. Seeing him memories like this and knowing that his every word, action, and look was like a stab to my heart almost brings me to my knees.

“Mom, what are you doing standing there?” Noah’s voice breaks through the fog, bringing me back to the present and cutting short my memory.

At his voice, Rowan and Gabe rush out. They silently looked at each other before facing me.

“Ava, are you okay?” Rowan asks in concern.

He goes to touch me, but I step away from him. Hurt flashes in his eyes, but I don’t really care rightBelongs to © n0velDrama.Org.

now. Not when the pain I felt is still fresh in my mind. Not when I’ve just gotten another reminder of how cruel Rowan had been to me.

“Yeah, a memory flashed in my mind. I got lost in it,” I reply quietly, avoiding his eyes.

“A memory?” The way he asks me makes me look up. In his eyes, I see fear. Meaning, for some reason, he was afraid of my memories coming back. “What was it about?”

“I don’t really know; it was a bit hazy.” I lie, not really sure why. “I’ll just go put Iris down and maybe take a nap before dinner. All of a sudden, my head is pounding.”

Noah looks worriedly at me. They all do. For Noah’s sake, I fake a small smile and kiss his cheek before heading upstairs.

My mind is in turmoil. I didn’t lie when I said my head was pounding; it actually was. I had so many things on my mind, and there were secrets to uncover. It was beginning to be too much for me to handle.

I get into Iris’s room and gently lay her down before kissing her forehead. After taking the baby monitor, I head straight to the master’s bedroom.

I enter, and I just take a minute to stare at it. At first, I didn’t care because I was just happy that Rowan was sleeping next to me, but now? Now I see the difference. Everything had been

The bed, the color scheme, the furniture. There was nothing remotely familiar about this bedroom. It’s like whoever redecorated it was trying to get rid of every trace of me.

Rowan had said that he and Emma had started seeing each other after she came back. Did she sleep here? Did they ever make love on this bed? Was she the one who redecorated the room, or was it Rowan? Maybe it was both of them.

Feeling unsettled by the questions, I leave the room and go to a guest bedroom that is down the hall. I couldn’t sleep there, knowing that there was a possibility Emma and Rowan had slept and f ucked on that same bed.

It was gut-wrenching to think of that possibility, but did I have a right to feel hurt when I’d slept with another man?

Getting under the covers, I will my tired body to sleep. My head was killing me, and I couldn’t keep this up much longer. I was tired of the questions. Tired of the doubts. I was tired of trying to figure out what he was hiding

The key to knowing what secrets Rowan was keeping was in my memories. Now more than ever, I needed to remember; the only problem is, I don’t know how to bring those lost memories forth.