The Glimpse of My Past

Diane’s P. O. V.All text © NôvelD(r)a'ma.Org.

Looking at him again, I could not help but fall more and more into his gaze. It felt like I ended up melting even more. I bit my lower lip as hard as I could.

Even if I wanted to be afraid by how deep his stares were at me, I could not understand myself because it was as if I even liked what he was doing. Even if I wanted to get away from him, it was as if I wanted to get closer to him. Tonight might be the first time we saw each other, but I wanted to know him more.

“You know what, Liam? Whatever the outcome of me being with you right now, it would be all my fault. The moment I entered your car, I did not think straight though. I just went with the flow-naively crossing something without even discerning about the possible risk. So, I guess I really have to face the consequence. I have to deal with it.”

My goodness, I didn’t even know how I was able to deliver those words without faltering! Wait, where is Diane? Am I still with myself?

Oh my God, should I wake up from this dream? But being with Liam, can’t I just continue being here?

Shocks, what is happening to me?

“Hmm… you are just a lucky girl, Diane,” he told me. He stood up, approached me, and warmly touched my chin like how he ran his fingers over my cheek earlier. “I will not do you any harm, I promise. Good night!”

Liam already laid down on the bed, but I had not yet moved on from what he did. I felt so speechless as my breathing even stopped until I found him putting three pillows in the middle of the bed. He was undoubtedly a gentleman, so how could I even be afraid of him?

But why do I feel so disappointed when he wanted to call it a night?

And what else do you expect, huh? That he will kiss you good night?

Jesus, am I going crazy? I asked myself while setting aside my thoughts and subconscious mind.

“Just a m-moment, Liam. Is it okay for you if-if we will not turn off the lights? Hmm, please? I am q-quite scared of the dark.” No, quite was an understatement. Just thinking about the dark could make my hands clammy already.

“I preferred without lights, but if with lights on is what you want and if it can make you feel comfortable, then it’s fine with me, Diane. You don’t even need to ask. Don’t worry about me, I can still manage to sleep,” he said those words with his eyes closed.

“Okay, thanks.” That was all I could say before I laid down beside Liam with my back facing him.

It was a good thing that there were pillows between the two of us. Those prevented me from leaning on Liam. I tried so hard to sleep, but I could not. I did not want to roll over and change positions in the bed because I might just wake him up. Also, this was not my bed. I could not just move here of my own free will.

After an hour, or so I thought, I was half-awakened, so I dragged myself away from the bed and went to the balcony of the room. I smiled while feeling the fresh and gentle breeze of the night that was cuddling my skin as I looked at the stars. Then, I suddenly remembered Denise.

She was so young when our father died, so I often told her that our father was already one of the stars in heaven. All she had to do was look for the brightest star, and imagine that Dad was also looking at her from above, proud of her achievements.

After a while, I went back inside the room, opened the fridge, and drank some water, before I pinned my back against the soft cushion. The room was cold because there was an air-conditioner, but I did not know why my body felt so hot that I found it uncomfortable.

Removing myself again from the bed, I took off my white blazer and removed my brassiere. For us, women, removing our brassieres was the most relaxing feeling in the whole world. I also took off my jeans, so I ended up only wearing my sleeveless lacy top and just cycling, which were all black. It made me comfortable enough.

It was as if I wanted to take a shower first before going to bed. So, I mindlessly took the towel from the cabinet in front of me and went straight to the bathroom. I could not help but yawn because I was also on the verge of falling into light oblivion.

When I opened the bathroom door, I did not know how to react to the scene that suddenly appeared right in front of me. My eyes went wide open that I could not even blink them, my throat abruptly became dry that made me swallow unstoppably, and my jaws dropped off the floor that I was not able to catch them.

Liam’s naked body was waving at me!

He was taking a bath with his eyes closed while humming a melody. I did not know how many seconds I got paralyzed at the door while looking at every part of his nude body, slack-jawed with my mind floating somewhere else, and my blood running away from my body.

It was after a while before I found my tongue stuck on my cheek. I screamed my heart out as I closed the bathroom door that made a loud screech. I did not know how Liam reacted inside of it.

Because of that, I went posthaste back to the fridge and opened it. I was panting, and my hands were trembling while drinking lots of water from the distilled bottle. The water continuously dropped into my chin, neck, and blouse because of a hurry. For once, I did not know how I would be able to face him after what happened.

Shit! How can you be a fool, Diane? Why didn’t you notice that Liam was not in the bed? Didn’t you even hear the sound of water droplets from the shower? It was so embarrassing! What kind of face will you show him later on? First night and this? Terrible!

But in the first place, why didn’t he lock the bathroom door since he would be taking a shower? Hello? He was not in his own bedroom, and he has a companion here! His companion was even a woman-an innocent woman he only met.

But, oh my God! His… his… I felt like I was going to faint.

Could not stop my throat to be completely dried, I swallowed one after the other before drinking again. I did not know what was the best to do and what I needed to do to help delete that image from my mind. It was my first time to see that kind of thing, and I could not help but wonder if it was really that big. I did not know, I had not seen one aside from Liam’s, so I could not compare at all.